Sunshine on my Shoulders
by 02AngelBaby75
Summary: Laurel and Hardy.Stanley and his wife, Betty, are having some marital issues, mostly involving her husband's drinking. Stan thinks a baby will solve all their problems, until he accidently takes home the wrong one.
1. Messing up Again

_This is only my second story that's actually supposed to be longer than a chapter! Gaaah, I'm nervous, never wrote Laurel and Hardy until now! _

* * *

Betty angrily stands in the kitchen, washing the dishes, taking out her frustrations on the plate she is busily scrubbing.

Stan has done it again. He has done it _again_. After the umpteenth time she screamed at him not to, he has.

How long had her husband been out now? Around three hours. The time heads onward to eleven at night. Betty sits alone in her room, sipping her tea, unable to wipe the frown off her face. If Stanley doesn't come through that door in _one_ more minute...

"Hullo, honey," Stan greets happily, smiling at his wife and waving. Instantly, she knows he's as drunk as a skunk.

She gets to her feet and starts right in. "Stanley, this is it. This is the last time, I tell you!"

Stan takes off his hat and sits it on the table, next to Betty's tea, making her nervous for obvious reasons. She picks it up and holds it with both hands. "You were out drinking again, with that friend of yours."

Stan scratches his head. Perpetually confused. He smiles wider, if possible. He hiccups.

Betty shakes her head, defeated. "You're spiffed!" she states bluntly.

Stan is all smiles.

"Look at you!" Betty cried.

Stan clucks his tongue, opening his mouth and trying to speak, to apologize, but he can't get the words to come out.

Betty points to the door. "Get out. I need to think of what I'm going to do with you!"

Stan slowly turns his head to where his wife is pointing a sharp finger, and it suddenly registers what she's suggesting. "Honey, I, I-"

Betty shoves him so hard he almost falls on his face. "Go somewhere else for tonight and just leave me alone."

"But-but-" Stanley tries to say something, but it's way too late. Betty has already dragged him through the house, opened the front door, and kicked him outside onto the steps. He lands on his bottom, staring up at her helplessly.

"Come back tomorrow," Betty explains. "And you better have something figured out." The door slams.

Stan woozily gets to his feet and scratches his head, his eyes wandering around, trying to recognize he was standing outside his own house.

There was only one place be could go, which was to Ollie's.

* * *

Having sobered up enough to knock on a door like a relatively normal person, Stanley does just this.

No answer. What does he expect at one in the morning?

As this fact slowly dawns on him, Stanley makes his way to the side of the house where he knows Oliver sleeps. Just like him and Betty, the couple can't stand sleeping on the same level, let alone in the same room.

He puts his hands on his hips and points at the three windows, trying to remember which one was Ollie's. After a good ten minutes of staring and pointing, Stan realizes it's the last window on the right. Or the left? Which is which? He holds his hands out in front of himself and makes an L with both, to see which one made a proper L and a backward L.

Now that this is discovered, and in fact it _is_ the right window, Stanley picks up a rock and attempts throwing it at the window. He misses by a landslide. Shrugging it off, he picks up another one and tries again. A little closer, if you squint. He smiles proudly. He's getting better.

Alas, fourteen rocks later, a tired and striped pyjama clad Ollie opens up his window and glares down at his best friend. "What do you _want_? Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?"

Stan waves.

Ollie shakes his head. "What do you _want_?"

Stan waves his fingers next to his ear, like he's telling a secret. He whispers," Betty-"

"How am I supposed to hear you when you're way down there?" Ollie gestures to the front of his and Clara's humble abode. "Get in!"

* * *

"And that's my story, an I'm stuck in it," Stan finishes.

Ollie shakes his head, muttering, "Mm, mm, _mm_!"

Stanley and Oliver are sitting in the basement where they hope Ollie's wife, who's even worse than Stan's, won't be able to hear them.

The two have been trying to find a way to save Stan's marriage, but the only four ideas that they have come up with involve making someone jealous, eating cake, money, and something else neither can quite recall.

"Well, I wouldn't let my wife tell me what to do. You should follow my pattern of life. A king should be in charge of his own castle," Ollie says.

"But if I didn't let her tell me, how would I know what she wants me to do?" Stan replies.

"OLIVEEEEEEEEEEER!" comes Clara's high-pitched, terrifyingly shrill voice. Both Stanley and Oliver jump out of their skin.

"Umm, coming, dearest!"

Panicked with tears welling in his eyes, Stan asks, "Where do I go, Ollie? I can't go home! If she finds me, I'll, I'll..." he can't finish his sentence, bursting into tears.

"Oh, here's _another_ nice mess you've gotten me into!"

* * *

_Well_, thinks Stan as he settles into his friend's rather squeaky but comfortable chair, _this could be much worse.  
_  
When Ollie finally convinces Clara to let Stan stay, it takes at least half an hour.

As Clara, defeated, stomps off to her room, Ollie looks at his friend disapprovingly. "Now see," he says," we're _both_ in trouble. You better get out of here as soon as morning comes." He rubs his hands together. "She's making pancakes for breakfast, and I don't want to miss out on my share."

Stan nods. "Alright. G'night, Ollie."

"Goodnight, Stanley."

He starts to think, and _really _think, hoping a rare flash of brilliance will occur, but nothing happens. It never happens when he _needs_ it to!

Stan falls into a somewhat peaceful sleep soon after, still worried about how he is going to make it up to Betty, but relieved that Ollie will always be there to help him out of yet another troublesome pickle.


	2. A Solution

Early the next morning, Stan does as he's told and goes back home, happy and confident that his new plan is as genius as ever.

Approaching his house, he straightens himself up, dusting off his jacket and adjusting his hat. He has to be prepared to impress Betty. If he wants a roof over his head every night, this moment depends on it!

* * *

"You know what the whole trouble is?" Stan asks Betty as the two sit awkwardly across from each other. Betty didn't expect her wayward husband home so early and is still in her nightgown, her hair a mess.

"No," she says, yawning, "I don't."

Stan grins. She'll be so proud of him! "What we need is a baby in our house."

"Why?" she says, raising an eyebrow.

This is not the reaction Stanley has hoped for. He thought she would jump for joy, kiss him and tell him how astonishingly intelligent he is. Instead she's being the usual_ Betty_.

"Well, if we...if we had a baby, it would keep you occupied, and I could go out and maybe find a job or...something. All our troubles would be over." He is truly convinced of this and is baffled as to why Betty can't see his reasoning.

"That's not a bad idea, really, I suppose."

Nodding, satisfied Betty sees the light, he goes on," You bet your life it's a good idea. You know, it's a well-known fact that all the happiness in the home..." Stanley stops and thinks for a moment. How'd it go again? "When you have a baby, and-and there's a _wife_ and _me_ and the baby...It's a well-known fact. I know, I've read about _that_."

Betty bites her bottom lip. "I think you're right."

Stan has to restrain himself from jumping up and down, thanking the heavens. "You bet your life I'm right. You know, I'm not as dumb as you look."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Betty, fuming, stands up and tells Stan to wait outside her room until she's dressed like a proper lady.

* * *

Nearly two hours, a broken vase, and a piece of cheesecake later, she comes out with her fluffy hat on, her purse, a nice dress, and loads of makeup. Stanley catches a whiff of powder as she brushes past him to the door.

"Well-where are you going?"

"To adopt a baby," Betty answers like it's the most obvious thing on Earth.

"What for?" asks Stan, forgetting all that had just been discussed. He licks his fingers of the icing.

She grabs his arm and yanks him along. "Come _on_," she says.


	3. Sampson

Betty glances down at the row of children. They go alphabetically and her and Stanley are at the S's.

Stan doesn't understand how picking a baby could be so hard. He feels like they're grocery shopping, searching for the best melon.

"How about that one?" Stan points to a girl named Sally, wrapped up in a pink blanket and laying snug in a crib. She has almost no hair.

"No, I want a boy," Betty stiffly replies.

"Oh."

"Here's one!" Betty's sudden outburst scares Stanley out of his skin. He visibly jumps.

His wife rushes up to a boy peacefully sleeping with a puff of light red hair atop his otherwise round and bald head. His eyes are closed and a little line of drool runs from his mouth and onto the pillow.

"Why-why that one?"

"Because," says Betty, gesturing to the girl beside, 'Sampson,' "nothing wakes him up. And with you stomping around the house, this'll be a big help. We won't have to be so quiet doing daily tasks."

The baby next to the future Laurel baby is crying her head off, absolute inhuman screeches that make Stan cringe. How odd, as the child has sunny blonde hair and blue eyes, almost angelic looking, besides her red and scrunched up face.

"If _that_ doesn't wake him up, Stan, nothing will," Betty says, covering her ears.

Stan does the same and the couple leave the orphanage after thanking the matron.

_Sampson. Sampson. Sampson_. Stanley says the name in his head over and over again, trying to make it sound proper. Sampson is a name, pretty soon, he'll be using every day. He has to get used to it. Although he would never admit it to Betty, he's afraid he may forget it.

While they walk back home, Betty says," Sampson. What a lovely name. I'm going to be such a good mother!"

Stan smiles and nods, looking over at his wife. It's the first time in a long time he has seen her so happy.


	4. Fluffy Pancakes

_My Uncle George was born today, in 1959. He died four days later. My Dad never knew him, as he was born a year after. Too bad. He wouldn't have been the only boy in a family of three sisters! :) He would be 51 today. I've seen the single picture of him and he was a beautiful baby. I miss him even though I don't know him. This is dedicated to him. _

_R.I.P. Uncle Georgie. _

* * *

Acouple of days go by until Betty assigns Stanley the task of picking up Sampson and bringing him home. She literally jumps for joy.

"Hurry up," she says. "All the papers are signed and all that's leftis taking him home. And...diapers. But I'll take care of _that_, that's a mother's buisness."

Stan couldn't agree more.

* * *

"I'm here to purchase my baby," Stan explains.

The moody Missus asks Stan which one is his.

Oh dear. Stan scratches his head and raises his eyebrows. What a hard question, and he has truly no idea. "I'll know when I see it," he says, hoping this will do the trick.

The kid's name starts with an S, this much he knows.

He glances at each one he passes, waiting for some sort of recognizion. Passing a blonde with blue eyes as warm and round as fluffy pancakes, it hits Stanley that this must be the one. He distinctly remembers those eyes.

He reads the name. Sunshine. That sounds about right. Awkwardly, he reaches down and lifts the sleeping baby girl into his arms. He's not quite sure how to carry her.

He walks up to the matron, Mrs. White, who is standing at a distance with her arms crossed, frowning.

He holds the child out in front of him, like he dosen't want to touch her. "How-how do I hold it?" he inquires.

* * *

Walking back home holding a squirming baby is harder than Stanley thought it would be. She's small, yet heavy. Deadweight. She's wrapped up in a pink blanket and Stan was given another pair of clothes for her and a bottle.

Sunshine is warm and squishy, just like the _real_ sun as Stan imagined. The word suited the baby girl perfectly.

A man with a cane passed Stan. He pulled out a cigar and happily presented it to the man.

Taking it from Stanley's outstreched hand somewhat suspiciously, he asks," Thanks. What's the occasion?"

Grinning like the proud father he is supposed to be, Stanley points to Sunshine cuddled in the crook of one arm.

The man smiles. "That's very nice."

"Thank you, sir," Stanley says, tipping his hat and snuggling his baby girl. "Thank you!"

Betty will be so thrilled. Maybe as much as him.


	5. Disturbing

"STANLEY."

Stanley stands in the closet with Sunshine and refuses to let Betty in. The moment his wife seen the baby she started screaming, knowing something isn't right, and Stan took off to the closet, where's he's been for the past twenty minutes.

"STANLEY, LET ME SEE MY CHILD."

"I can't," Stan says on the verge of tears, realizing his awful mistake. He knows if he comes out she'll kill him. And _really_ kill him. It's happened _three times_ already.

"WHY NOT?"

He flinches. "Are you sure you want to see it?"

"YES, I AM SURE."

"Absolutely positively very-"

"STAN, NOW."

He opens the closet a crack. He holds Sunshine by under her arms and sticks her through the door, turning his head and closing his eyes.

He feels the baby taken from his hands.

"Stanley, who is this? Where's my boy?" Betty, before Stan can close it again, grabs his arm as she has so many times and yanks him with such fierceness out of the closet he lands flat on his face at her feet.

"Where's my baby boy?" Betty asks, watching Sunshine watch her with disdain.

"I-Isn't this your boy?" he says, slowly, with creaking bones, standing up.

"This is a girl. Can't you tell?"

"I didn't check."

"Oh, Stanley! Sampson has _red_ hair, and this hair is _yellow_. I can't even classify it as blonde. It's disturbing."

Stanley's eyes fill with tears that threaten to spill over if she says one more nasty thing to him, or to Sunshine. He dosen't find her hair, 'disturbing.' He finds it...unique. "I couldn't remember, I tried my best-"

"Well, take her back! Get me my boy," Betty says, handing Sunshine over like she's a ragdoll.

"Yes, sir. I mean, ma'am."

Stanley takes the now red-faced child and heads off once again. This time he cradles her a little less awkwardly.

There's only one option left now. Stan is way too attached to give Sunshine up, that's for sure, and Ollie is his only hope. It's time he became a real, independent-thinking man. With a little help, of course. He can't be expected to do _everything_.


	6. Anything to be Upset About

_This chapter is for my cousins-three hours isn't enough time to catch up!_

**Riley: **_For fixing my iPod, Winston._

**Chloe: **_For being the__ sweetest girl I know._

**Chaucer: **_For letting me touch your Super Mario collection._

**Finnigan: **_For giving me your Lego Harley Quinn. _

* * *

As fate would have it, Oliver is at work cleaning fish, his current job he's had for a week, and only Clara is home. To make things worse, she's making spaghetti and refuses to give any to Stanley.

Why must the world be against him?

"Is that your baby?" she asks Stan. The two are standing in the kitchen and Sunshine is sitting on the table liking a sauce covered spoon.

Clara rips it away from her tiny fingers, and Sunshine screams so loud Clara gives it right back. The baby smiles.

"Why should I tell you?" Stan says defensively.

"Why did you come here?"

Good point. "To find Ollie. To ask him what I should do."

"You can ask me. I'd trust me much more, you know."

"Okay."

Stan goes on to explain his predicament. It's time he does something for himself!

"I see," Clara says. "But you're worried about Betty. Poor Betty. How does she stand you?"

How does he stand _her_?

Clara isn't helping, so Stan asks her when his best buddy will be home.

"Any time. But whatever you're doing...keep it away from me." She pries the spoon away from Sunshine once more and waves it towards the window. "Wait out there for him."

Stan and a very unpleased Sunshine go. And Stanley still doesn't get his spaghetti.

* * *

An hour goes by. Sunshine is asleep, and Stan is dozing off as well.

Suddenly he perks up as a rusty old clunker pulls in, and out pops Ollie. Stan waves excitedly, by accident very nearly dropping Sunshine.

Ollie saunters over, shaking his head in disapproval. "What is _that_?" he says, plainly referring to the baby.

"That? Oh, this-this is, um..."

"Speak up, Stanley!"

"Sunshine, I-I think. Yes, Sunshine." What a shock, he remembers!

Oliver says," What is it doing here? What are YOU doing here? If she"-Clara-"finds out, she'll have my head. She hates children, you know that."

"But..." Stanley's whiny voice turns on, "I-I want to keep her, but my wife wants a different one..." He's trying to explain without a shaking voice. It's not turning out too well and next thing he's bawling.

"That's your problem? That's not anything to be upset about. Tell her to go get the other baby and you can have two!"

Stanley is oblivious to the obvious consequences of such a thing, but it's better than sitting there sobbing, so he thanks his buddy profusely.

"Of course," Oliver says. "Now go away. Dinner's waiting."

Dang it. Spaghetti, that lucky man. Stan and Sunshine leave in happy spirits, and he even promises Ollie if Betty doesn't agree, he'll eat his own hat.

Stan even lets Ollie hold Sunshine, awkwardly and painfully placing her in his arms. She looks up at him with beautiful blue eyes, collects a mouthful of drool, then lets it go all over our poor Oliver.

"_Mmm,mmm,mmm_! Take it!"

Stan does. The drool subsides once she's back with him; only a little ends up on Stanley. With that, off father and daughter go.


	7. Slipper Attack

"Is my baby home?" Betty calls through the door. She refuses to open it until she knows for sure Sampson has arrived, once and for all.

"_A _baby is here."

Betty knows what _that _means. "Take her back!"

"Why can't we have both?"

"Stanley, look at her! She's got pure evil written all over her face! I don't trust it."

This is the strangest conversation Stan had ever had. He's talking to his wife with a door in between them.

He looks carefully at Sunshine. "I don't see, 'evil,' anywhere."

"You know what I'm talking about! Now BRING ME MY BOY!"

"I-I will, as soon as you let me and her in."

The door flies open and Stan's face is met with Betty's slipper. "Stay away from me! Go away!"

Stanley raises one hand to cover his face from Betty's assaults. This scene would have been funny if the circumstances aren't so serious. The slipper isn't even hurting him.

Sunshine screams, a deafening yell that even makes Betty stop and jump in surprise. She points at her. "See, Stanley? _Evil_! Get out!" She smacks him one last time before shoving him away, closing the door to his home and locking it.

Stanley sighs and looks down at Sunshine, who has miraculously fallen back asleep. There is absolutely_ nothing_ evil about that. He sighs again and wipes a tear from his eye. He has to be brave! If being a man means getting kicked out of his house, then so be it.

They walk around town until Stan's arm goes numb and he has to hold the baby in his other one. His shoes are literally falling apart. He was supposed to get that fixed awhile ago, but Betty kept telling him it's okay and _now _look how it's gotten.

He doesn't need Betty. But the more he says this to himself, the less he believes it. They are in love, he knows it, they're just...taking a break. Betty loves him. If she doesn't, she wouldn't have wanted him to help her take care of a baby. And the day they were married is one of the best days of his life. How long ago is that again? Must be around nine, ten years. Uncharacteristically, he even remembers the day! March 19. He can't remember the year, but the date is better than nothing.

Currently he has Sunshine. "Isn't this nice?" he asks her, taking a seat on a park bench, tired. "We're just like two peas in a pot."


	8. The Time has Come

Stanley has plans to just sleep on the bench that night, until a rather foul smell permeates the air.

He can't put off the inevitable any longer. He knows this would happen eventually, and he is ready. With the $8.41 in his pocket, he takes off to the store as fast as he can without dropping the stinky baby.

He bursts thorough the doors, crazily rushing down every aisle until an employee named Otis walks up to him and asks him if he's okay.

Stan can barely breathe. He gestures to the baby and instantly Otis notices the problem.

He laughs and pats Stan's back so hard he almost falls over. "I remember _those_ days," he says. He points to a stack of boxes containing diapers.

Stan doesn't have time to say thank you, but he does have time to throw seven dollar bills at Otis. In seconds he's got a box tucked under his arm and he's running to the lady's room. He stops in his tracks, debating which one. If only _he _were a woman, this choice would be so much easier!

Remembering the last time he accidently waltzed into the lady's room in search of his wife, things didn't go too well. Thus he decides on the boy's room. Sunshine won't know the difference anyway.

Stanley lays her on her back next to a sink. He realizes he has no baby powder. "I'll be right back, don't you worry," he says to Sunshine. He rushes out, his hands holding his hat firmly to his head. He grabs some baby powder off the shelf and throws the last of his money at poor Otis. "Thank you."

Armed with clean diapers and baby powder, Stanley is ready. He stares nervously down the smiling baby lying on the counter. Her feet kick the air. If only she knows how hard this is for him.

He first lifts her legs up. He's managed to almost lift Sunshine upside down, in fact. When she screams he lets her go. Stanley fights with the baby, finally securing the giggling girl's legs, and removes the soiled diaper. He has to turn his head away and wave his hand around his face, that baby girl stunk so bad. How did mothers do this every day? He wishes Betty were here to help him.

The rest, as they say, is history. Ten painful and excruciating minutes later, Stan knows nothing for him is impossible. His life is now complete. If he can change a diaper, his opportunities are endless.


	9. Hand it to That Guy

_Thank you LADYMALLARD and Foxcat93! I appreciate your encouragement sooo much! And Aubrey, whoever you are!_

_Ti amo~ _

* * *

Stan checks his pockets for some change to buy him and the now squeaky clean baby something to eat. He pats them over and over, and the truth slowly comes over him. He spent all of it on Sunshine's diapers! Now what to do?...

Ollie. Ollie is the only one who can get him out of this now. Who knows what Betty could have done? The police may be after him! He hasn't done anything particularly wrong, but with Betty you never can tell.

Off through the dark streets and to Oliver's again.

Once more, and hopefully for the last time, we see Stanley throwing rocks at the Hardy's window. His stomach is growling and he has no doubts Sunshine is starving, too. Surprisingly, the window pops open sooner than expected.

"You make me sick!" Ollie grumbles, crossing his arms. He's in the usual striped pyjamas.

"Well, we've all got to live and learn, you know," Stan tells him.

" Yeah, but you just live! "

Stan replies, "If you want me to go, I'll stay as long as you like. But I'm kinda having some troubles."

"I'll be right down. Just be quiet. "

Stan smiles. He looks at Sunshine and says happily, "I've certainly got to hand it to that guy."

* * *

Ollie listens to Stan, and Sunshine's, woes as he does it seems daily for the past fourteen years. They sit against the brick wall, Sunshine throwing tiny fistfuls of dirt at Ollie.

Ollie frowns and shakes his head disapprovingly, at both the Stanley and his daughter, even though a brilliant plan brews in the back of his mind. "Nevertheless, I'm going to teach you not to make such rash promises. Eat the hat." He gestures to Stan's hat, not forgetting the promise he had made.

"Whoever heard of anybody eating a hat?"

"Eat the hat!"

Sunshine giggles.

"I won't do it," Stanley says.

"If you don't eat that hat, I'll tie you to a tree and let the buzzards get you!"

"Would you do that?" he asks, horrified.

"I certainly would."

Argue, argue, cry. Cry, argue, giggle, argue, cry, cry, giggle. Dirt in face.

"Oh!" Oliver cries, exasperated. "Let's just get out of here, shall we?"

* * *

Stanley, Oliver and Sunshine walk down the road, just as the sun starts rising. Ollie had snuck back inside his house and taken the jar of money from under his mattress, his life savings. Hopefully it would be enough to last them awhile.

"Where's your money? Am I the only one with a part in this?"

Stanley tells him about spending it on the diapers, and Ollie has to agree a good-smelling baby is better than a cranky and a stinky one. The $8.41 is worth it. Besides, when they become famous fishermen in a town far away from Betty and Clara, guess who's going to be doing the most work?

"You remember how dumb I used to be?" Stan asks, his baby girl riding on his shoulders and her hands covering his eyes so Oliver has to lead him by his arm.

"Yeah?" Oliver asks, paying more attention to where they are heading next.

"Well, I'm better now."

* * *

_**STAN LAUREL-06.16.90~02.23.65**_

_**OLIVER HARDY-01.18.92~08.07.57**_

_**R.I.P. **_


End file.
